I just want to be close to you
I'll get passed your prickly beard
I'll make sure to smell nice
Will you mind my tough skin worn from those endless nights sewing?
Will you kiss me gently?
If only this was real
P.S. I realize this is not really so good, but I wrote it within minutes in a class of mine. School has been over for a week so it's kind of old.
Signing off,
Sophia
Hi Sophia, you definitely have something to work with here so don't discount it. Great poems or even good poems are rarely written quickly. You obviously see its potential otherwise you wouldn't have posted it right?
You say it's not really so good. So ask yourself, "What is it I like about it? What don't I like?" My suggestion is to rework it a bit when you have time, make a few small changes here and there (even if it's just a word or two). Then walk away and come back to it the next day.
Do you ever have those times where you've finished writing something that you've worked on for a while, you sit back and read it one last time and go, "Yeah I like that. It's really good". And it makes you smile? I think you're not too far way from that with "Fantasy World". Being a writer and reader of romantic poetry, I like the direction in which this is going.
Drop me an e-mail if you'd like to discuss it some more, okay?
x
I like this!