New beginnings

Tuesday, December 4, 2012 § 1

I've started journaling again. It makes me happy. 
I think I've become numb. It also makes me happy. 
I love not caring, then I can't feel the pain that's really there.


Nostalgia at its finest.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 § 1

I was just looking through the beginnings of this blog, and I feel so proud of what I used to write. I'm nostalgic of the past. I feel like I've let go of that creative side of me, and that makes me really sad. I feel that I no longer have beautiful words permeating my thoughts, although sometimes they'll come back to me. I'm going to make a big effort to restart writing meaningful things. I sincerely miss being the least bit artistic. I'll really try though.


Randomest is not even a word

Monday, November 5, 2012 § 1

I've come to realize that I've been lonely for far too long because I don't settle for anything less than what I want. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but I really can't seem to change it. I don't know what to do... except write my sociology paper which I've been putting off. I'm way too distracted for anything productive.


It's a new feeling

§ 1

You just don't know how glad I am to be back. Picture a thousand fireworks inside my chest.
I just need something to hold on to right now.
University is hard. Moving out was different, although I love it. New York is my new home, but I live at college so I still have to go back home during vacations and such. 
I don't know exactly what I want or expect to get out of this, but I definitely hope to keep it going again.


I miss this

Sunday, November 4, 2012 § 2

I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore. 
Probably not.

I miss being creative. 


Tuesday, May 8, 2012 § 0

Weather like melted ice cream
Weather like silence in the night
       A hand reaching behing
Weather like molasses
Weather like a fan
       Breath on his neck
Weather like the lights on during a film
Weather like gum under a desk
       Footsteps getting louder
Weather like dirty clothes
Weather like mushy pasta
       A penetrating light
Weather like over-used swears
Weather like fidgeting
       A face at the window
Weather like unpaved streets
Weather, like will you go away?

Damn, how time passes. It's a wonder.

Friday, February 24, 2012 § 1

Blistering pain.
Pins and needles.
I want to go back.
Back to the practiced numbness.
The empty nothingness.
I don't want to feel the strain of my muscles.
I don't want to feel lonely.
But I am.
Nobody takes a chance.
I will certainly not be the one to take one.
I wish I could even if I wanted to.
So, really you could say it is my fault.
Loneliness that is.

Signing off,


Tuesday, February 7, 2012 § 2

I haven't forgotten about you, my loves. It's been a whirlwind. Mystery is always best, isn't it?

Saturday, January 21, 2012 § 1

Something happened. Something really bad. I need to tell someone, but I don't know if I can actually tell anyone. I'm scared.

Author's freedom

Friday, January 20, 2012 § 2

Those that love you the
most know the best ways to twist
the knife deep in your back.